What's Left to Lose
by EmpireEmpress
Summary: Who would have thought Robin, the big ball of laughter and joy, was suicidal. What will happen when The Team and The League find out? What will they do? Will they ever see Robin in the same way? Is Batman God? Sorry got carried away. Rated M for cutting, suicidal thoughts/actions, depressing thoughts, and lots, and lots of violence.
1. The Beginning

**Hello readers, I must warn you, this fan fiction is very bloody, depressing, and suicidal. I cannot be blamed for any trauma due to this warning.**

 **This fan fiction is written for a special friend, may she one day see herself to be who she really is and not what others tell her she is.**

 **(The Italic is the voices in Dick/Robin's head)**

Mt. Justice, July 17, 1:30 P.M.

Dick sat on his bed in his quarters at Mt. Justice. His knees were pulled tight to his chest, teeth clenched as sobs rang through them. Behind his dark sunglasses sat of pained, and broken blue eyes, a waterfall of tears flowed from them. Dick got up from the bed visibly shaking, he shuffled over to the bathroom. He splashed his face with cool, tap water from the sink, it felt refreshing against his warm cheeks. He rummaged through the drawers until he found a razor blade. Dick held the blade firmly in his left hand as he used his right to roll up his sleeve. He switched the blade to his right hand and held it up to the light. _I thought you were going to stop._ The light delicate voice of a child said. _What he should've done is ended it when he could've, but no he has too much to lose._ Mocked a more gruff voice. _Ha! Like that isn't the understatement of the century. This kid's got nothing. He's got no family, no friends, no one to stick around for._ Another voice said. _Yeah, I'll bet the world will be a better place if he was gone._ The gruff voice said. More tears streamed down Dick's face as he came to the realization, I'm worthless. He thought as he looked down to see three crimson marks running along the side of his wrist, four more along his thigh. The voices cackled in Dick's head, _He's too weak to end it!_ _This is priceless, seriously, this kid is nothing but a worthless, disgusting, nobody._ _People like that deserve to die._ The two voices mused. _But, that's a lie, he has Bruce, and Wally, Artemis, Kaldur, Roy, and._ The child's voice was cut off by something that sounded similar to a gunshot. _There we go, now that, the little brat was silenced, I say it's little dickie's turn._ Everything went black for a few seconds, Dick came back to reality to find himself lying in the bathroom floor covered in blood. The razor blade as stuck in his wrist as blood pooled out of it. Dick didn't react, he felt at peace. Finally, I won't be afraid, or unwanted. I'd get to see Mami and Tati again. Dick thought as his eyes closed. He fell into a world of blackness.

Wally sat upside down on the couch bored out of his mind.

"Uuuuuuuggggggg! I'm so bored!" He cried out. Artemis sat across from him on the floor polishing her arrows.

"Hey Baywatch, why don't you go bother bird brain?" Artemis snapped, clearly annoyed from his complaining. Wally rolled off the couch and sped towards Robin's room. He knocked on the door, no answer, Wally entered anyway. His eyes widened and his body trembled at the sight of Dick, his little brother, lying on the floor covered in blood with a razor blade stuck in his wrist.

"Rob!" Wally screamed as he bolted over to boy and held him in his arms.

"No,no,no,no,no,no,no!" He sobbed as Dick's lifeless body lied in the distraught hero's red stained arms. M'gann and Kaldur entered Robin's room to check on all the noise. A gasp came from them both and M'gann burst into tears. Kaldur grabbed Robin's wrist to check for a pulse.

"He has a very faint pulse, we need to get him to a hospital." Kaldur said, worry present in his voice. Wally lifted the ebony haired boy and raced him to he nearest hospital.

* * *

Happy Harbor Hospital, July 17, 2:53 P.M.

The Team sat in silence for hours in the hospital lobby. The only noise was the soft sobbing of M'gann and an occasional sigh. After about an hour and a half of waiting, a young nurse in her twenties entered the room.

"Mr. Wayne?" Asked the nurse. Bruce immediately stood up and followed her through the doors.

"He is stable but, he needs to stay for a few days for monitoring, he will also need to see a therapist." Dr. Leslie said as Bruce entered his son's hospital room. Dick's arms and legs were covered in bandages. His usually bright blue eyes were now closer to a navy, and were filled with pain and sorrow.

"Dick." Bruce said in a voice that was barely a whisper. He laid a hand on the boy's tiny shoulder. Sometimes Bruce forgot how young Dick was until moments like this.

"Tată, îmi pare rău." (Father, I am sorry.) Dick said as tears filled his eyes. Bruce's eyes softened as he replied.

"De ce îți pare rău pasărea mea? Nu ai făcut nimic rău." (Why are you sorry my bird? You have done nothing wrong.) Tears flowed from the child's eyes as he answered.

"Nu am reuşit, nu mă puteam sinucide." (I failed, I could not kill myself.) A lone tear slid down Bruce's cheek as he pulled the broken bird into a tight hug.

"Nu, copilul meu, nu aș reuși fără tine. Niciodată nu mă eșuați." (No, my child, I would never make it without you. You never fail me.) Bruce whispered into his son's ear. His heart dropped listening to his son. Dick's sobs became sniffles and light hiccups. I gave him a kiss on the forehead and left his room so the others could see him.

"You guys can go in and see Dick now but, try to be calm, he is still really upset." Bruce informed as the others passed him with worry mixed with relief on their faces. The door to Dick's room opened and The Team entered. Wally was the first to speak.

"Hey Rob, how ya feeling'?" Dick sat up with a glint of sadness on his face.

"Sunt în regulă." Dick replied. Everyone gave Dick confused looks except for Wally.

"Okay, my Romani is a little rusty but, I think he said he is fine." Wally translated. He shot a glance at the acrobat silently asking if he was correct. Dick nodded, Wally continued in horribly broken Ramani.

"Can you vorbesti to us in Engleză?" Dick laughed at Wally's attempt to speak the language.

"Sorry, when I am overly tired I'll slip into Romani." Dick admitted. He looked down and blushed. M'gann stepped forward with a warm smile on her green face.

"It's okay, I always wanted to learn a foreign language. Besides English I mean." The martian reddened with embarrassment. Dick chuckled, and replied.

"I'll teach you sometime." With that a doctor entered.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Leslie. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. You may come visit again tomorrow though." The doctor informed them. The Team said their goodbyes to the bird and left.

* * *

Gotham City Therapy Center, July 20, 11:15 A.M.

A black limousine approached the therapy center. Bruce Wayne and his ward stepped out of it. Dick shoved his hands deeper into his hoodie pockets as they entered the building. The acrobat sat cross legged in one of the waiting room chairs as Bruce talked with the front desk worker. _Lookie here, Dickie bird at therapy._ _Looks like I was right! He is weak._ Dick clenched his teeth. _That's why his parents are dead. He was too weak to save them._ The voices in his head cackled. Dick felt the urge to cut, to cut deep, to watch the crimson liquid pour from his veins as punishment. Punishment for being a weak, pathetic nobody. Bruce sat down next to his ward, making the bird jump. Worry filled Bruce's face.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked putting a hand on Dick's shoulder. The acrobat brushed it off.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He replied, his hands shook in his pockets from the need to cut. A woman in her early thirties walked in. Bruce stood up, Dick followed them into one of the therapy rooms. Bruce nodded at her and left the room.

"Hello Richard, I'm Dr. Tompkins, I hear you've had an 'incident.' Would you like to tell me what happened?" The doctor introduced. Dick sat cross legged in the chair. He didn't reply, he only stared out the window. The doctor sighed.

"Look, Richard, the only way this is going to work is if you open up to me." Dr. Tompkins informed. Dick still didn't reply. The doctor caught sight of the bandages wrapping around the child's arm. She decided to change the subject hoping maybe he'll at least say something.

"I know between school and being Robin, it's hard to keep up, and there is a lot of stress." She continued. _Ha! She thinks it's because of school work._ _I'll bet Zach will give us one of his fun little visits tomorrow._

"The only things I know are what others told me, if I get your point of view I can help you more." Dr. Tompkins started. When the boy still didn't change she continued.

"If you cooperate, you'll get better. Everyone is worried for you Richard. We all want you to get better. If you talk to me I can help you, please." The doctor pleaded. _Man, she is a good liar._ _Maybe she really thinks that they care for you._ _What an idiot, he's nothing but a charity case, everyone just pitties him._ Those words made Dick snap.

"You want to hear my point of view, I wanted to die but, I failed just like I fail at everything because I am a stupid, pathetic, weak, nobody!" Dick shouted, not angry at the therapist but, at himself. Dr. Tompkins wrote in her notepad for a minute and then continued.

"Richard, you're angry at yourself. Can you explain to me why?"

"Why, why! Because I'm too weak! I failed my parents, I failed my team, I failed Bruce. I can even kill myself! This is why I'm angry! The world would be a better place if Richard Grayson was dead!" He shouted, his teeth clenched, his knuckles white from gripping the arms of the chair so tight. Tears threatened to spill from his blue eyes. The therapist simply took some more notes and said.

"That's all for today, thank you Richard." She got up and opened the door. Dick followed her, they met up with Bruce by the limo. Dick got into the car while Bruce and Dr. Tompkins spoke.

"Bruce, is anyone bothering him at school?" The doctor asked.

"No, he isn't having the night terrors anymore either." Bruce replied.

"He seems to think he is a failure. I need you to encourage him more. If anything happens call me, I may need to prescribe him some meds." The doctor instructed. Bruce nodded and got into the limousine. They drove back to the manor in silence. Bruce didn't know what to say. His son, the joking, laughing, ball of joy, was suicidal. As soon as they got to the manor, Dick went straight to his room. Bruce told Alfred what happened, the butler became very sollum.

"Should I remove all sharp objects from Master Richard's room, Sir?" Bruce sat down and placed his head in his hands. He sighed before replying.

"Yes, please do Alfred. Hopefully we won't have to keep it that way for long."

Alfred left Bruce alone to ponder on the fact that his son wanted to die.

 **I know, I know, most of you are saying "Dude what the heckles! This is really messed up!" But, it'll get better, I promise. This is all season one based but, no Zatana. I don't know why but, the moment her character was introduced I hated her so much, sorry.**

 **Until next time heroes and villains.**


	2. Counselling and Remembrence

**Welcome back readers to another chapter of What's Left to Lose. The last on ended on a sad note, I'll assure you this one ends somewhat sadder. I did my research on traditional Romanian foods, the smoked bacon, smoked sausage, and cabbage rolls, are all real, the extras added onto it I made up. (They do blend well in flavor though) If anyone wants they can try to make some of the foods and comment on how well it taste. Maybe even get Gordon Ramsey to judge it. (Maybe we'll find the lamb sauce.)**

 **Comment please!**

 **And now, on with the show!**

Alfred knocked at the door of Dick's room.

"Might I come in, Master Richard?" The butler asked. There was silence, he opened the door to find the room empty but, the window open. There on the edge of the roof stood the young acrobat.

"Master Richard!" Shouted Alfred as the boy leaned over the edge. Dick began to fall, strong arms wrapped around him and pulled him into a window. Loud sobs came from the child as Bruce held him in his arms. Alfred burst into the room.

"Is he alright Master Bruce?" Alfred asked. Bruce looked down at the shaking boy in his firm grip and replied.

"No, I'm keeping him in the Cave and at the Watchtower to make sure 'this' won't happen again." With that Bruce got up and left.

* * *

Mt. Justice, July 20, 2:06 P.M.

"Batman 02 and Robin B01" announced the zeta beams as Batman and Robin stepped into the Cave. Kid Flash sped over to greet them along with Aqualad.

"Hey Rob, what's up?" Asked the speedster. Robin just crossed his arms and looked at the floor. A worried look spread across the Wally's face. Batman looked down at his protege before saying.

"Robin has been having some 'issues." Batman spat out the word like it was poison.

"So, he will be staying at the Cave and the Watchtower where he can be better supervised." The Dark Knight finished. Aqualad stepped forward.

"Might I ask what these 'issues' are?" Aqualad asked hoping he could help his friend. Batman hesitated before answering.

"Black Canary can inform you on the recent events that have taken place." Batman left without another word. Robin stood awkwardly in front of Kid Flash and Aqualad.

"So, do you want to tell us or should we ask…" Wally trailed off. Aqualad nudged him with his elbow. The trio walked to go see Black Canary. The teens entered the same room they sat in for therapy with Canary after the 'training session gone wrong.' Superboy and Miss Martian sat in the loveseat, Kid Flash, Artemis, and Aqualad sat on the couch, and Robin sat alone in the chair. Black Canary entered and took the chair facing them all.

"All of you must be wondering what happened to Robin the last few days. Well, Robin has been feeling very depressed lately, and attempted to commit…" Black Canary couldn't say that last word. The thought of the little ball of sunshine wanting to kill himself choked her up. After regaining her voice Canary continued.

"Would anyone like to voice their opinion. Remember this is an open and honest place, nothing leaves this room." Wally opened his mouth then closed it. It was Superboy who broke the silence.

"Why, why would Robin want to kill himself? I mean, he always seemed so happy." The clone asked, more confused than upset. Black Canary looked over at Robin silently asking him to answer. Robin shook his head.

"Look Rob, we need you to talk to us." Kid Flash stated.

"Yeah, if you don't we can't help you." Artemis continued.

"It hurts to see you like this." Miss Martian added through sobs.

"My friend, who or whatever is telling you 'we don't care' is wrong." Aqualad stated.

"You see Robin, we all care for you and want you to get better. The least you can do is talk to us. So please, answer Superboy's question." Black Canary finished, her voice soft and calm. Robin sighed tears began to stream down his face as he spoke.

"I-I want to kill myself because, I'm worthless, I'm a failure, a nobody, I don't d-deserve to live anymore." He stuttered, he was shaking, his knees were pulled tightly to his small chest.

"That's a lie!" Wally shouted, Robin jumped at the outburst. The speedster lowered his voice.

"It's all a lie, your kind and smart, and beautiful. Everyday you're here with us, with _me_ the world is brighter. You've saved so many people Rob, I mean I wouldn't be here if you weren't there to save my dumb butt."

"Yeah, I would be a weapon for Kadmus if you didn't find me." Superboy added, Robin smiled at the memory. M'gann smiled as she added a memory too.

"And, who would show me baking tips for my cookies."

"I definitely need Bird Boy to help me keep, Baywatch over here, in check." Artemis said in a joking manor. Robin laughed along with the rest of the team. Black Canary stood up, she placed a hand on the boy's shoulder.

"See, you are loved and cared for, there is no need for you to feel alone anymore." The woman said with a warm smile.

"Yes, my friend, we are here for you, always and forever." Kaldur finished, his voice calm and leader like. The teens enveloped the youngest in a large group hug.

* * *

Mt. Justice July 20 5:37 P.M.

Superboy, Aqualad, and Kid Flash sat on the couch talking, while M'gann and Artemis cooked dinner. Robin just sat on the floor watching his team, overjoyed that they still cared.

"Hey Bird Boy, why don't you help M'gann. I need to go help Arrow." Artemis said after seeing the acrobat sitting alone. The Boy Wonder's signature smile grew on his face as he lept from his spot and flipped to the kitchen.

"What are we making?" He asked with his signature cackle. M'gann smiled sweetly and answered.

"Slănina afumată (smoked bacon) with Sarmale (cabbage rolls) and Cârnați afumați (smoked sausages). I hear they are traditional Romanian foods." Dick's eyes watered at the mention of the traditional foods. He remembered his family getting together and cooking enough for the whole circus. Dick was brought out of his thoughts by a hug.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Robin! I thought it would be fun to learn about your culture. I didn't mean to make you cry." Miss Martian apologized. Robin didn't realize he was crying until he placed a hand on his wet cheek.

"I'm- It's fine, I was just thinking of my family, that's all." M'gann released him and began flipping through a cookbook.

"We don't have to make that, we can make spaghetti, or gumbo, or…" She was cut off by Robin. He took the cookbook from her hands and set it down. He looked through his domino mask into her brown eyes.

"My parents would be honored if we kept the tradition going, especially with such a kind person." The Martian blushed at the compliment. She grabbed the recipe for the Slănina afumată, the Sarmale, and the Cârnați afumați. Together the teens cooked the meal happily. Artemis and Wally strolled into the kitchen, and took a seat.

"What's cooking, beautiful?" Wally flirted. Artemis smacked the back of his head. M'gann and Robin walked over with three serving plates, each on more colorful than the last.

"This one is Cârnați afumați with Ardeii, ceapa, roșiile, patrunjelul și o băutură de menta. (peppers, onion, tomatoes, parsley, and a dash of mint) Robin said with ease. Artemis looked over at Wally for translation, M'gann sat down another serving plate.

"This is Sarmale with olives, mango sauce, basil, parsley, and parmesan cheese." The green girl said with a smile. Robin nodded and set down the last serving tray. He remembered his parents, and how they loved making Slănina afumată. He remembered their smiles the first time he learned to make it. Tears pricked Dick's eyes, he pushed them back.

"Slănina afumată cu ceapă și ardei caramelizate, rozmarinul și o arsură de arțar." (caramelized onions and peppers, rosemary, and a maple drizzle) Robin said with a slight frown on his face. While everyone else sat and ate, Robin used his stealth skills to slip away unnoticed. Once the door closed to his quarters, Dick let a waterfall of tears cascade down his face. _Oh look at him, he misses his mommy and daddy. Ha ha ha ha! Maybe they would be here if you weren't such a failure._ _Hey, dude, that was kind of excessive. Lay off the kid a little._ The gruff voice growled in Dick's head. _I don't take orders from weaklings, you got it._ The sound of a gunshot sounded through Dick's mind. _Now, little birdie, you're all mine,_ the voice cackled. His hands begged him 'one cut' they would cry. Dick tried to stand but, his legs gave out. _One cut, one cut, one cut._ The gruff voice chanted along with his hands. His whole body shook from want. _One cut, just one, it won't be too bad._ Dick told himself as he braced the wall to stagger towards the bathroom.

"One cut, one cut, one cut." Dick repeated over and over as he pulled out a razor blade. He ran it on the side of his wrist, the sweet metallic scent of blood gave him a feeling of peace. One cut turned to two, two to four, four to seven. Dick admired the pattern in his arm.

"One cut, one cut, one cut." He continued to chant. But, he knew it would never be 'just one.'

 **So, yeah, sad ending. Another voice died, now the gruff voice has taken control. Oh, no! Will Dickie make it? Will his friends be there when he needs? How will Bats react? How did I get 100 on my speaking half of my** **Spanish** **final when I spoke in German? (That last on is true. I need an answer for that.)**

 **Until next time Bats and Boy Scouts. ;)**


	3. We'll Try

**Hello readers! I am very, very sorry for taking so long to update. It is Finals month at my school. (In June, yes I'm still in school. I have another two weeks left. :'(**

 **Don't forget to comment!**

 **On with the show.**

"Do you hear that?" Superboy asked as he perked up. Wally listened but, heard nothing.

"Is this a super hearing thing?" He asked. Superboy jumped up from his seat and ran down the hallway, Wally followed. The duo crashed into Kaldur.

"Did you find Robin?" Kaldur asked, worry evident in his face. Superboy nodded and kept running. They came to the door of Robin's quarters. Kid Flash entered the pin code only to be denied. Superboy took things into his own hands, literally. He grabbed the door and ripped it from it's position. There they found a blood covered Robin lying in the bathroom floor mumbling the same words over and over again.

"Kid, Superboy, stay with Robin, I'll call Batman." Kaldur ordered. Kid Flash and Superboy did as their leader told them. Kid Flash was by Robin's side in milliseconds, he and Superboy tried to stop the bleeding. Kaldur took a step back when Batman's signature scowl didn't appear on his face. Kaldur explained the situation, Batman's face showed more worry than the young Atlantean's. Not even a few seconds passed when the zeta tubes announced the Dark Knight's arrival. With a swish of his black cape he dashed down to Robin's quarters.

"Come on Rob, stay with us please." Pleaded Kid Flash through tears. Superboy kept pressure on his bandaged cuts.

"Nu, lasă-mă să plec. Lasă-mă în sfârșit să dorm, te rog." (No, please let me go. Let me finally sleep, please.) Robin half-heatedly begged. He was on the verge of unconsciousness. Batman and Kaldur entered and began helping with Robin. They took him to the med-bay, Black Canary and Red Tornado arrival was announced by the zeta tubes, they entered the med-bay to assist Batman. Kid Flash tried to follow only to have the door slammed in his face. Kaldur approached the distraught speedster and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"My friend, Robin is strong he will survive. We must be here for him, remaining distraught will not help him." The leader advised. Wally's shoulders dropped, he followed Kaldur to sit with Superboy. The zeta tubes announced the arrival of Artemis and M'gann. The girls' smiles quickly faded when they saw the sorrow on their teammates faces.

"What happened?" Artemis asked her voice a higher octave.

"Robin, he," Kaldur tried to find the right words to say. Wally burst out before the Atlantean could finish.

"He cut himself okay! Now you know, so stop asking for Christ's sake!" Artemis calmly walked up to him and hugged Wally. Wally stiffened for a moment before breaking down and crying into her shoulder.

"It's okay Wally, he's going to get better." M'gann cooed as she helped the upset speedster sit down. Artemis kept Wally in the hug and they both eventually fell asleep on each other. The same happened for M'gann and Conner. Aqualad stayed awake, he wanted to be up if there was any news about Robin.

* * *

Mt. Justice July 21 9:46 A.M.

The Team awoke to the sound of Black Canary's soft voice. She shook them lightly, Kaldur was the first to wake. His silver eyes fluttered open.

"You guys can come see Robin now." The leaguer said softly. He nodded and the team followed her into the mead-bay. Their hearts broke at the sight of Batman holding the small bird in his muscular arms. Robin's head rested against his mentor's chest. Batman's chest rose and fell, the ebony boy's head moved with it. He looked so fragile, so small. His pale skin looked lighted with the bandages that covered his arms. Black Canary entered the bay and placed a hand on the teen's shoulder. The little bird's head popped up, he looked up at his sleeping mentor. Carefully Robin slipped out of Batman's hold. He followed the team out of the med-bay and into the living room. Artemis, and Wally sat on the floor while, M'gann, Conner, and Kaldur sat on the couch. Robin sat cross legged on the coffee table. Everyone was silent until, Aqualad spoke.

"Robin, we are going to try our best to help you. To get you better." The Atlantean glanced at Wally, the speedster nodded and left. He returned with a small, white box. He set it on the coffee table next to Robin. The bird cautiously lifted the lid of the box to reveal five rubber bands, a comm, a few pictures, and a small rubber ball. M'gann stepped forward.

"We did some research and supposedly when you get," The Martian paused, looking for the right words before continuing.

"Urges, you just snap the rubber band on your wrist." Wally wrapped his arms around the ebony teen's waist and rested his chin on the bird's shoulder.

"The comm is a private one connected to mine. So, if you need to talk, I'm here." The ginger said. Robin smiled when he picked up the photos. The first one was the team at the beach, they buried a sleeping Superboy in the sand. The second one was the team dressed up as their mentors for Halloween. Kid Flash had one of Artemis' suction cup arrows stuck to his head while, Aqualad, Artemis, and Robin were laughing. The third was Kid Flash, Robin, Aqualad, and a whipped cream covered Roy. Kid Flash stood next to Robin with two extra large cans of whipped cream. Aqualad was laughing, and Roy was about to fall over. The last photo was the best, it showed Wally carrying Dick on his back. Dick's leg was in a black cast, he had broken it from one of his fights with Bane. Wally offered to carry Dick everywhere until his cast was off so Dick didn't have to wobble around on crutches. A tear fell from Robin's eye as he remembered that day. He was taken out of his thoughts from a large embrace. The team hugged their little bird as he cried into Wally's shoulder.

"Thank you." He whispered. His words may have been quiet but, the team heard them.

 **This one is pretty short, sorry guys. I'll get out another ASAP. Please wish me luck on my Finals. (I'm taking a math final with math that is 2 years ahead of my grade) Need all the luck I can get.**

 **Until next time Supers and Bats! ;)**


	4. Bullies and Hot Coco

**Hello Readers and welcome to another chapter. If you've made it this far, good job! You have either an amazing amount of determination or you may be addicted. (Don't worry it's okay to be the second one, I am.) Anyhoo, Dickie's going to get a little visit from a character mentioned earlier in the story. So be prepared to meet him. (Lol, Lion King profile pun. I need mental help)**

 **Don't forget to comment!**

 **Follow on Instagram at** **geekart314**

 **Special thanks to** **rose and 10** **and** **J.J Norris** **for commenting!**

Gotham City Therapy Center July 23 11:15 A.M.

Dick followed Bruce out of the car and to the lobby of the therapy center. He took his usual seat while Bruce left to talk with the the receptionist. Ever since his team got together and gave him the box, Dick never went without a rubber band on his wrist and the comm in his pocket. Dr. Tompkins strolled into the lobby, and placed a hand on Dick's shoulder, signaling it was time to go in. Dick sat in silence while Dr. Tompkins tried to get him to speak.

"I hear your friends got together and made you a box. Could you tell me what was in it?" The doctor asked. Dick toyed with the rubber band on his wrist.

"Richard, it has been an hour, and you haven't said a word. What can I do to help you? I just want you to speak, to say something, anything." The doctor pleaded. She really did want to help Richard but, she couldn't help if he didn't speak to her. Dr. Tompkins put her head in her hands.

"Rubber bands," A quiet voice began. She lifted her head to see the voice belonged to the ebony teen sitting in front of her.

"They gave me rubber bands, and some pictures." The boy finished. Dr. Tompkins smiled.

"Do they help?" She asked, happy that they boy finally spoke.

"Y-yeah, when I get anxious, I'll snap the rubber band. Whenever I feel sad, I look at the photos, and they help." Dick replied.

"Have you had anymore 'incidents' since our last session?" Dr. Tompkins already knew the answer but, she wanted Richard to tell her himself. Dick suddenly found the floor very interesting.

"Yes." Dick replied, he tugged at his hoodie sleeves.

"How many?" The doctor asked. She knew she was taking a shot in the dark, trying to get him to answer that question. But, the teen surprised her.

"Eleven." Dick replied.

"Why eleven? You could've done any number but, you chose eleven." The woman asked. Dick shifted uncomfortably in his chair. He hesitated before answering.

"One for every failure." Dr. Tompkins noticed Dick was uncomfortable. She scribbled some notes and stood up. With her warm smile, she informed.

"That'll be all for today. Thank you very much Richard. I look forward to our next session." With that, Dick and the doctor exited the room and went to see Bruce. The blue eyed billionaire spoke with Dr. Tompkins while, Dick got into the car.

"I assume your session with Dr. Tompkins went well." Alfred said as the car door shut.

"Yeah, I guess so." Dick mumbled. Bruce got into the car.

"Dr. Tompkins says you're improving. Do you think you'll be ready to go back to school?" Bruce asked. Dick stiffened for a second but, then relaxed again. He nodded and stared out of the window.

* * *

Gotham Academy July 24 7:30 A.M.

A black limousine pulled up to the courtyard of Gotham Academy. Dick Grayson stepped out of it in the school uniform. It was the same as everyone else's, a white button up with a navy blazer, a matching tie, navy slacks, and black dress shoes. A redhead girl wearing the girls' uniform, waved at Dick.

"Hey Babs." Dick said blandly, he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets to hide the bandages.

"Are you okay? You seem a bit off." Barbara asked, concerned by Dick's actions.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Dick replied with his signature smile. Barbara eyed him suspiciously. Dick walked into his homeroom.

The bell ending the school day was about to ring. Dick collected his belongings off his desk and waited for it when, a tall kid in the men's school uniform approached Dick.

"Hey! Circus Freak! Where's my homework?" The kid asked, shoving Dick out of his chair.

"I don't have it, Zach." Dick said. He got up and dusted himself off. Zach cracked his knuckles and shoved Dick into the wall.

"I'll show you what happens when you don't what I tell you." Zach threatened. He socked Dick in the stomach, then the eye. Zach grabbed Dick by the shirt and threw him onto the desk. Jayden and Coscan, Zach's uncivil friends, surrounded Dick. They cackled and began punching him. The last bell rang.

"See ya, Circus Freak." Zach laughed as he and his groupies left. Dick pulled himself off of the cracked desk. He staggered out off the room and into the bathroom. _I can't be seen._ Thought the young bird. He pulled himself onto the window seal and rolled out of it. Dick landed on the ground, his shoulder made a sickening pop. The acrobat pulled out his phone and clicked on Bruce's number. Dick paused, _Awwww, look at the Dickie bird. He thinks Bruce will come to the rescue. You idiot! Bruce will_ _ **never**_ _care! Bruce will_ _ **never**_ _come for you! You are_ _ **alone**_ _!_ Dick slipped his phone back into his pocket. He leaned heavily against the side of the school, Dick staggered towards the zeta beams. After an hour that felt like days, he made it to the phone booth.

* * *

Mt. Justice 3:15

"Robin B01." The monotone voice of the computer announced. An overly excited Kid Flash sped his way down to the zeta tubes. The excitement the speedster once had was disappeared when he saw the broken body of his best friend stumble out of the zeta.

"Oh my god. Rob what happened?" Wally asked in a high pitched voice. He draped Robin's arm over his shoulder and helped the bird to the med-bay. The team sat on the couch awaiting the noisy speedster and Robin to return. When they only heard silence the team became worried. Artemis and M'gann walked over to the zeta tubes to find neither of the boys there.

"What are you looking for?" M'gann and Artemis both jumped at the sudden appearance of Black Canary.

"We, we were just wondering where Kid and Robin went." Miss Martian stuttered. Black Canary immediately marched down to the med-bay. Her eyes widened at the sight of the teens.

"I want to know what happened, right now!" Ordered Canary, going into what the team often referred to as 'Mama Canary Mode.' Kid Flash and Robin jumped a mile high.

"Oh, h-hey beautiful. What I wanna know is if it hurt when you fell fro-" Kid Flash was cut off by a slap upside the head from Artemis.

"Stop the flirting, Baywatch and answer the question!" Artemis shouted. The noise drew the rest of the team into the med-bay. The team, minus Superboy, and Black Canary began bickering. Robin sat on the med-bay table snapping the rubber band against his wrist. Superboy took notice of this strange action. The Kryptonian moved away from the arguing group and pulled Robin out of the room. Nobody noticed as Superboy and Robin walked into the living room. He signaled for Robin to sit, while he pulled out a roll of bandages he grabbed before they left. Superboy took a seat next to the Boy Wonder, and gently bandaged his wounds. They were silent for most of the time until, surprisingly, Superboy spoke up.

"So, what happened? I mean you wouldn't dislocate your own shoulder, would you?" It was the doubt that Robin feared the most about recovery. Nobody trusted you, everyone questioned you. Heck, he even couldn't go to the bathroom without somebody having to stand outside the door, and he couldn't be in there for more than a minute!

"No Supey, I wouldn't dislocate my own shoulder." Robin said sarcastically with his signature smile. Superboy knew he was hiding something.

"So, what happened then." Superboy asked again hoping for the full answer this time. Robin hesitated before answering.

"I fell out of a window."

"You're a horrible liar." Superboy stated flatly. This surprised the acrobat.

"What do you mean?" Robin asked. Superboy didn't look up, he just calmly continued to wrap the bird's wounds.

"I mean, you suck at lying. Tell me what else happened." Superboy stopped finished and sat quietly next to Robin's dislocated shoulder. Sweat began to build on the teen's brow, his mind raced. _What will Superboy do? What will the team do? Will they think I'm weak for not fighting back? Will they think I'm stupid for not calling Bruce?_ The Boy Wonder thought. Superboy seemed to know exactly what he was thinking because he placed a hand atop of the other teen's much smaller ones. A warm smile spread across his most of the time serious face. Superboy got up and left for a minute then returned with two steaming hot cups of hot chocolate. He handed one to the smaller teen and sat down next to him. Superboy motioned for him to begin.

"Well, there is this group of seniors in my school who think it's fun to beat me up." Robin began, he was comforted by the fact that Superboy would sit and listen. Other people like Wally or Barbra would get worked up by just that one sentence. He enjoyed just being able to talk to someone without Bruce being told directly after or them going on a rampage.

"They tell me to do their homework and projects. Today I decided to be brave and stand up to them. I told them I didn't have it and as you can see that was a complete mistake." Robin continued. Superboy just sat next to him, Robin's injured arm in hand, and listened. Robin continued speaking for a couple minutes until he was cut off by a sicking pop much like the one his shoulder made from the fall earlier. The noise was followed by a burning sensation going up and down his arm. Robin yelped in half surprise and half pain. Superboy gently placed his arm in a black sling.

"Sorry." He mumbled apologetically.

"Thanks Supey, it would've hurt a lot more if I knew that was coming." Robin said. Superboy looked relieved by his statement. Just then the rest of the team and Black Canary came bursting in. They looked surprised to see the two boys sitting on the couch drinking hot coco. There were no new injuries or anything.

"Do you guys mind?" Superboy said as he protectively scooted closer to Robin. Black Canary and the other four teens left without another word. Superboy moved away from the bird a little, feeling embarrassed. To his surprise Robin moved closer to him. A movie was played and the two heroes snuggled close together drinking their hot chocolate. Robin fell asleep with his head against Superboy's chest, towards the end of the movie. The smaller teen's light breaths calmed Superboy until he too fell asleep.

 **Okay that ended on a very fluffy note which even I wasn't expecting. No, I do not ship Supey and Rob. I'm actually on the BirdFlash** **fan-boat. Comment for any ideas, I'd love to hear them.**

 **I will try to make a Flash fan-fiction. It'll be season 1 because that what I'm comfortable with and that's the only season I've watched. So sad cause season 2 was ruined for me. WHHHHHYYYYY?!**

 **Until next time Superbirds and BirdFlashes. ;)**


	5. Captured

**Hello readers, I'm very sorry for not updating in a while. But, to make up for it I'll try to post two chapters in one day. Pretty good deal eh?**

 **Nobody has commented since the last chapter so I have no special thanks today. If you want to be featured in the next chapter (well probably the one after) please comment.**

 **On with the show!**

Gotham Academy July 25 7:30 A.M.

Dick stepped out of the limo and ran to catch up to Barbra.

"Hey Babs." Dick greeted but, was ignored.

"Babs?" Barbara turned and eyed Dick. Her arms were crossed over her chest.

"This is the fifth time you ditched me after school." Barbara was fuming.

"I'm so sorry Babs I-" Dick was cut off.

"It's a good thing I have friends who won't ditch me and then lie about it." With that Barbara turned with a huff and began chatting with some other girls. One of them was Artemis. _At least Artey has some friends._ Dick thought. He went off to homeroom. The rest of the day went well until the last few minutes, Zach and his gang enjoy torturing Dick then. The bell rang and Dick made it to where he was normally picked up without being spotted by Zach.

"Hey Circus Freak!" Zach shoved him.

"Where's daddy? Did he decide you were a mistake?" Zach laughed as he punched Dick in the stomach. He fell onto his back.

"My dad chose me, your parents are stuck with you." Dick shot back, that was a mistake. Zach growled, he and his friends began beating Dick as hard as they could. After five minutes they got bored and decided to leave. Dick sat up with blurry vision, when it finally cleared, he go up and began to walk home. Dick made his way through the crowd, he heard everyone's whispers.

"Looks like Circus Freak got a beating."

"Did you hear that Bruce only adopted him for the public?"

"I heard that he helped kill his parents."

"Look at the charity case." Dick walked a little fasted, he just wanted to get away, far far away. _If you're dead then you won't have to deal with any of this. It'll all go away._ The gruff voice coaxed. Dick was supposed to go straight to the mountain after school.

"There can't be too much wrong with a slight detour." Dick thought aloud. He went into a restroom and changed into a hoodie and jeans which he kept in his backpack. Zach's beating left him with lots of bruises but, not much blood except for his nose. Dick found a tall building and climbed up the fire escape. Once he reached the top, Dick sat on the edge. He didn't intend on jumping, yet. He just wanted a quiet place to collect his thoughts. Dick listened to the sounds of the city, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the darkness around him. After a few minutes Dick heard footsteps, he slid on his glasses but, did not turn around.

"You're not thinking about jumping, are you?" Artemis asked. Dick signed for her to sit.

"I used to come up here, it's a place where reality doesn't exist." Dick explained.

"Are you okay?" The archer asked growing more concerned

"Is anybody?" Dick was beginning to sound poetic.

"Canary is having practice soon." Artemis informed. Dick didn't move, he didn't face her, he just kept staring at the horizon.

"Do you hear them?" Dick asked.

"Hear what?" Artemis was confused by Dick's behavior.

"The rumors. I do. Everywhere I go, they call me names. Circus Freak, Charity Case. They say Bruce adopted me for the public, or I killed my parents. Some of them say I should have fallen with them." Dick let a few tears fall. Artemis wrapped her arm around Dick, half for comfort, half for insurance.

"Rob, come on let's go."

"If I don't?"

"I'll carry you." Dick looked at the ground in front of the building.

"I want to so bad." Dick stated in a monotone voice.

"Do you want me to call Wally?" Artemis asked. Dick shook his head.

"Can you call Roy?" Dick asked. Artemis pulled out her phone and dialed Roy's number.

"What do you want?" Asked Roy, clearly annoyed.

"Are you in Gotham?" Artemis asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Come to the apartment roof on Sherwood." Artemis ordered before hanging up. A few minutes later Roy came up behind them. Roy was annoyed at first until he saw Dick. Roy sat next to him and pulled Dick into a hug, that's when Dick let go. Tears flowed from his baby blue eyes like a waterfall.

"I'm here, it's okay." Roy cooed. Artemis watched as the large ball of sunshine, who made every room he walked into brighter, break down. Her heart broke a million times over. When Robin was better, they all got up and headed for the zetas. Nobody was in costume so, they didn't have to walk in the shadows. Everything was going well until two large hands grabbed Dick, Roy and Artemis ran to go clobber the guy but, were only met with knockout gas.

While they were waiting the rest of the team decided to watch some TV. Everything was normal, M'gann and Conner were close together, Wally was trying to hit on M'gann only to back off because of Conner's looks. And Aqualad was quietly talking with Black Canary. The TV went static and then revealed the disgusting face of the Joker and his two goons.

"Hello Ladies, Gentlemen, and Brucie. I've interrupted your regularly scheduled mayhem to show you this." The camera was moved to show a chair with a single light above it, tied to the chair was Dick covered in blood and bruises.

"If you ever want to see him or these two again, you'll pay a ransom of twenty million dollars, and give back my Harley." The camera showed Roy and Artemis chained to the wall looking not nearly as bad as Dick. The TV went black. The Team, except for Artemis and Robin, and Black Canary stood in complete shock and silence for a moment, trying to understand what just happened. Wally was the first to speak.

"What are we standing around for! We need to go save them!"

Wally raced into his Kid Flash uniform he was about to run into the Bio Ship when a hand stopped him. Black Canary had a sollum look on her face.

"Wally, this is a League matter. I'm sorry." She informed just as Batman stepped into the room.

"Because we don't know what the Joker is capable of, we won't let you take the risk." He explained.

"It's not your risk to take!" Wally spat. He was boiling with rage. Batman knew how close he and Dick were, they were basically brothers. Wally couldn't just sit and wait, hoping that Dick was okay.

"Wally, please, just calm down." Black Canary tried.

"Calm down. Calm down! How can I be calm knowing that my brother is being tortured by some maniac, and all I'm allowed to do is sit and wait! I'm not just some sidekick!" Wally shouted at the top of his lungs. Superboy stood up next to him, silently saying he was on Wally's side. M'gann meekly joined, as did Aqualad. Batman shot his signature glare at all of them but, none of the teens back down. The Dark Knight admired their care towards each other.

"You seem to be set on this, but, let me warn you, the Joker is unpredictable and completely evil. He will stop at nothing to get what he wants. Be careful." With that Batman left. The teens got together with a newfound will to save their friends.

Dick remained motionless since that sicko took a crowbar to his head. Artemis and Roy had started to get worried.

"Roy, is he?" Artemis couldn't say the last word. Tears filled her eyes but, she refused to let them fall. Roy shook his head, he wasn't sure of anything at this point. His view of Dick showed a broken arm and a large gash in his cheek. Roy knew the other side would probably be worse.

"Has little birdy still not woken up?" The horrific voice of the Joker asked. He waltzed in with a goon following. The goon pushed a cart with numerous metal rods, a burner, and a duffle bag. The Joker looked at the broken teen for a minute then twisted his broken arm, earning a scream. The clown clapped his hands and bounced like an excited child.

"I just love it when the bird boy sings for me!" He cheered. Dick sat up startled. _How does he know!? How does he know!?_ His mind screamed. The Joker seemed to know what Dick was thinking. He kneeled down next to Dick and pressed his lips close to the teen's ear. In a low, demonic voice, he whispered.

"I know much more than you think." Instead of his normal high pitched laughter, it was a low bellow. He pulled down a chain with a large hook attached to it. The clown then grabbed the bird's wrist and latched the rope around them onto the hook. The Joker pulled a pair of scissors out of the duffel bag, he cut off Dick's hoodie, then his shirt until his torso was bare. Artemis and Roy cringed at the excessive amount of scars covering the small torso. The Joker took notice of this and turned Dick to face his friends. The bird hung his head in shame. His sides and arms were covered in lines, so many of them. Across his stomach and a little on his chest were words. The Joker pridefully read each one of them out loud.

"Shameful, disgusting, revolting, failure, careless, stupid, weak, pitiful, broken, worthless, coward." He laughed at that one and mumbled 'ironic' under his breath. Out of the shadows where he had been lurking for some time stepped none other than Scarecrow.

"Why are you even here! Joker wasn't bad enough?!" Artemis shouted unintentionally. Scarecrow began to move closer to her but, was stopped by Joker. He laughed at her comment.

"I like her, she's funny." The maniac giggled. Scarecrow backed down and instead focused on Dick.

"What's with the kid? You promised me worth subjects."

"I just like him. His voice is nice." Joker explained. For some sick reason he kept Dick's identity a secret. Dick stiffened when Scarecrow said.

"Well, let's see what makes them tick." He laughed maniacally. Artemis and Roy tried desperately to get out of the chains that held them. Scarecrow injected them first. Their eyes immediately widening signaling the toxin had started working. The man let Dick watch, the teen looked at his friends in sadness knowing they'll forever be scarred by this. Then it was his turn.

 **Bum, bum, bum! Cliff hanger! Oh boy! What's going to happen? Will they make it? How does Joker know who Dick is? What will he do with this info? Will the team find them before it's too late? Will the trio be forever damage by this? Is Batman god? Sorry, got carried away again.**

 **I ran out of things to say for the ending so I can only say,**

 **Until next time! ;) (But, that's soooooooooooooo boring!)**


	6. Hallucinations

**I said I would try to post two in on day, but, in my** **defense** **its hard to write and babysit my little bros at the same time. So, here is the next chapter.**

 **No new reviews on this story so, still no special thanks. :(**

 **Comment please!**

The rest of the Team tried to find where the video was recorded. Kid Flash and Miss Martian were working on retracing it, while Superboy and Aqualad searched the video for clues.

"What's that?" Aqualad asked. He paused the video and pointed at the Joker's left eye. Superboy enhanced the image then reversed it. Once the image cleared Aqualad recognized it.

"It's the fishing company in Gotham. They have warehouses down by the docks." He informed. They all raced to the Bio Ship and prepared for take off.

 **Artemis's Hallucination**

Artemis woke up in her old room, he father was looming over her.

"Get ready, we're going to Nanda Parbat." He commanded throwing a suitcase on her bed.

"No, I have a family here." Artemis stood up crossing her arms.

"You mean this one?" Sportsmaster turned on the TV to show a gruesome scene. Five bodies were dangling from the ceiling, each had multiple arrows in their chest. The arrows were her's.

"No." She whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

"You killed them with such precision that Ra's said he wanted you to join the League." He informed. Artemis shook her head.

"No, I'm not joining." She stood her ground.

"What else are you going to do?! Arrow won't take you! Your little team is dead! And the Justice League wants your head! Now, you are going to pack your stuff and be ready to leave before I come back!" He shouted, then slammed the door and locked it. So, Artemis packed her things. What other choice did she have? She walked out of her room with sad eyes, her mother looked at her with disappointment. She had done it, she had become what her dad wanted. That was her worst fear.

 **Roy's Hallucination**

Roy walked next to his mom, they were walking through the Glades enjoying each other's company when a man with a gun shoved them into an alley.

"Give me the money, now!" He placed the barrel of the gun to the woman's head.

"Please, we don't have any!" Roy pleaded. His mom was all he had left, he couldn't lose her.

"Pity." The man scoffed and pulled the trigger. The bullet went into her lung.

"Mom!" Roy cried. He held the dying woman close, her blood staining his clothing and hands. Strangers passed by on the streets.

"Help! Somebody! Help!" He cried out, nobody heard, and nobody cared. Oliver Queen passed by.

"Oliver! Oliver, help!" The man looked at Roy with anger then continued on his way. There was nothing Roy could do, except sit with her. So, that's what Roy did, he sat with his mother and he watched her die. His mom was all Roy had left, and now she was gone. When she stopped breathing Roy had let tears fall, he wanted to be strong in front of his mom. A hand was placed on Roy's shoulder, he turned around to see Oliver.

"There's something you should see." The man said with a long face. The duo zetaed to the Cave where the Team was gathered crying, all except Robin.

"Where's Rob?" Roy asked confused, then it hit him. Oliver lead him towards Robin's room.

"If you were here Roy, then he would have made it." There lying on a blood stained bed was Robin. His wrists had deep cuts in them, tears stained his ghastly face.

"Dick. I'm so sorry, it's all my fault. I should have been here with you, but, I let my stupid pride get in the way." Roy admitted. He let tears fall on the corpse. The Team filed in behind Roy.

"If you were here Speedy. He would've had a chance. But, you left!" Kid Flash became angry.

"Yeah, that was selfish Roy." Artemis spoke up.

"We confided in you Roy. How could you let this happen?" Aqualad took his turn. Then Miss Martian, Superboy, and even Oliver. It was all his fault, he let this happen, he betrayed everyone, he hurt everyone, again. He let them all down. That was his worst fear.

 **Dick's Hallucination**

Dick recognized the music immediately. It was the song, their last song. He looked down and saw he was in his old Flying Graysons uniform. Dick knew what came next, it was nothing new. It happened every night. He heard the music, they began the act, then they fell. Then it would repeat. Dick saw his mom and dad take the bars.

"Mamă! Tata! Frânghiile!" (Mom! Dad! The ropes!) He called out in vein. His parents only looked at him and smiled, then the ropes broke. He watched in horror as they fell, a sickening crack was heard so clearly, just like the night it happened. Dick ran to their broken bodies and cried.

"Mamă. Tata." He whispered. The ropes fixed themselves for another performance. The next to walk up were Alfred and Bruce.

"No." He whispered as their bodies hit the floor too. After that went Wally, Roy, Kaldur, Artemis, M'gann, The League, Barbra. Everyone he cared about fell. He sat there in the middle of the ring crying.

"Just end it!" He screamed to nobody.

"Just make it end, please." He begged crying over his best friend. He lost everyone, he was alone, alone again. All his hope, his heart, his soul was crushed. They were all gone. That was his worst fear.

 **Some of you may not understand the ordering but, I did simple to worst. Yeah, Dick's was the shortest mainly because there wasn't much to say or explain. Will they make it out of these horrible hallucinations okay, or will they have something worse in store for them?**

 **Comment please!**

 **Until next time! ;)**


End file.
